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Adam and Amy (HW)

First of all Adam and Amy are in love. Adam always wants to be at Amy's side and Amy is very happy and feels flattering (geschmeichelt) about what Adam said to show that he loves her.


Later she started to think about what she wants or what Adam wants!


Her relationsship become 'problems' (?) because of the Colour Game. They aren´t allowed to meet each other but they try and if they were catched they get a bad consequence and they will be more observe and so it's morde difficult to meet. 


I think it will give a big conflict because Amy has to decide if she wants to play the Colour Game right an fair or if she wants to be with Adam. 


15.3.11 19:25


bisher 1 Kommentar(e)     TrackBack-URL

Ms Mettjes (22.3.11 00:25)
Hi Laura,

I'm concentrating on the language now, because that seems to be a weak point. The ideas you have are quite interesting and well chosen.

"First of all" - Do you mean "At first"? I'm not quite sure here.
- "Amy feels flattered"
- Keep to the present tense! -> "what Adam says" / "she starts to think" etc.
- "Their relationship becomes problematic..."
- to catch, caught, caught
- If they were caught, they would be punished. They would also be more rigidly observed."
- "more" (just a typo)
- "I think a great conflict will arise" (German "es gibt -> usually with "there is", here: "there will be"). "Arise" is a nicer solution than "there will be" stylistically; the "give" version, however, is wrong!
- "if she wants to play the Colour game the way it should be played..."

See you in class tomorrow!

Greetings, Ms Mettjes

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